Rugby themed pubs don’t usually do a lot for us here at AZBarLondon, but occasionally we scrum down and just get on with it. For F we’ve decided to check out Ricky Casanova’s local in Finsbury Park, the Faltering Fullback, a rugged establishment if ever there was one. Someday AZBar is going to come to you from somewhere less salubrious, but not this day.

We’ve been taking our viewer feedback pretty seriously here and everyone has been mauling us about the lack of information on the actual bars themselves. Our initial reaction is to direct people to Beerintheevening.com, a place where no one knows your name, but everyone knows a little something about most pubs. Fair enough, but we like to get a little bit more up close here on AZBar. With that in mind we’re introducing a new feature, the 3 second review. Take a look, we think you’ll like it.

View video here.

AZBarLondon did it’s first ever back to back this week. The result was E and F on the same night. We did it the night of the Champions League quarter finals and just like the matches themselves it was a night of two halves.

The first 45 minutes was spent at the Edinburgh Cellars, 125 Newington street, between Highbury and Stoke Newington. Check out our full review below. While it wasn’t a bad spot we didn’t feel at all inclined to stay beyond one drink. We drained our Cracks in the Jacks and left for F quick enough.

View video here.
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We’ve long bemoaned the difficulty of acquiring top notch food at a decent price after the hour or 11pm in London. A city that purports to be a world capital turfs it’s citizens onto the street at closing time where the choice is grim. A bag of chips from the chippy or a pot noodle to take home from the corner store.

There are gems out there, we’ve been to one or two, but it’s a hard job tracking them down, and you can almost forget about finding them spontaneously.

So with all that in mind, and not wanting to come over as our usual negative selves, TrashBlanc.com is going to spend a bit of time on the coal face of late night London Eating.

Here’s our first report, and for the weekend that was in it we started at the Marathon Kebab. Befitting of it’s Camden location on the Chalk Farm road, Marathon is a big hit with the local musos. So much so that there’s a resident jazz-guy playing his sax along to lounge tracks in the back room. Atmospheric, yeah. The food is a step up from the standard kebabary. But only just. And for that it charges a pretty penny. £3.00 for a falafel kebab, £1.80 for nine onion rings and a mammoth £2.80 for a can of wife-beater. As Ricky points out in the video, getting served cans of Stella in a chip shop is a bonus to begin with, but paying nearly three large ones is a steep price.

Whether all of this is worth it depends on a couple of crucial variables.

1. Your distance from Camden. If you’re there already by all means go for it, but it’s not worth more than £5 in a taxi.

2. Your level of inebriation. This isn’t too crucial. TB had only a couple of pints and still took some enjoyment from the experience.

3. You tolerance for jazz, man. Speaks for itself.

All in all we’re giving a positive review, but with the proviso that there’s got to be better late night eats out there, right?

We wrote last week about Londonization, chain eating, the pleasure of knowing the same over-priced menu on ever high street. Well what are we going to do about it? We’re going to tell you what, right here on TrashBlanc.com we’re going to find the very weakest links in an all too familiar rusty toilet chain. Nobody is going to be spared. If we see what we think is a self replicating food emporium, we’re going to KAM IT HARD.

And we’re going to back that camera action up with some good hard facts. Like just who owns these cookie cutter outlets drowning London in a sea of ubiquity. And why the UK is a particular victim to this widespread lunching malaise.

Now we’ve got to lay down some guidance here as to how we approach this task. Sure MickeyD and the King are bigtime chains, but they’re not even trying to fool anyone. They’re saying “We’re cheap, we’re shit, we screw the planet daily, but hey, we sell 50 gazillion burgers worldwide per hour so fuck you pal”. Point absolutely taken.

No, we’re after the likes of old man Carluccio. The sly conieving types who pretends to inject class into the market until you get home to find your house knocked to the ground, your children gone, and a plate of very average blue cheese gnocchi being sold at £9.95 in their place. We’re not standing for this shit.

So here’s the chain of shame. It’s not definitive by any means, you comment and we’ll add.

• Carluccio
• Apostrophe
• Hamburger Union
• Busaba Eathai
• Gourmet HotDog
• Strada
• Eat
• Pret a Manger
• Pizza Express
• Leon
• Paul
• Ping Pong
• Wagamama
• Yo Sushi
• Wasabi
• Miso

TrashBlanc was in London for a full week last week so our AZBarLondon.com side project got a boost of life. Check out our visit to the Dolphin on Mare Street, Hackney.

(Scene of the detestation, Haymarket Wagamama. Thanks for pic Ewan-M)

Londonization. The French term for the decimation of the high-street by chain stores and chain restaurants. Walk down any street in the UK and you’ll see exactly what they mean. While we at TrashBlanc.com have to ‘fess up at this juncture to a fondness for H&M under-garments (boxer briefs, size large since you ask), we’re growing progressively less fond of eating where everybody knows the names, on the menu.

We’ve discussed prime offenders such as the Gourmet HotDog chain before. But now it’s time to do some solid investigation. Why? Becasue we’ve just eaten in Wagamama and let us tell you something, it was the worst bowl of soba noodles we’ve had in a seriously long time. Like ever! Bland, oily, mushrooms that tasted like they’d come from a metalworks. Three pieces of soggy tofu. All this ours for £7.50 (US$15).

When Wag came on the scene it was a breath of fresh air. All minimal underground hipness. Communal benches, open plan kitchen and servers with PDAs. Wow, the glamour. Surely this was modern China at it’s very best. Shame the miso tastes more like run-off from the lifeless Yangtze river.

Wag was launched by a man, Alan Yau, who has a handfull of Michelin stars and an MBA-esque know-how in successful franchising to his name. Well Yau has sold starred eateries and he’s obviously enjoying the proceeds somewhere far away from London.

Wag have over 20 locations in London, 50 in the UK and imminent expansion is planned in the US. They’ve also opened up in Heathrow T5. Now that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is a notion that TrashBlanc will ever eat in Wag again. Not happening.

What is happening is a month on TrashBlanc devoted to exposing London’s other hyped but dodgy chains. We’re looking at you Carluccio.

TrashBlanc.com is going to be in New York for eight hours tomorrow  morning. From midnight to 8am to be precise. No doubt we’ll be hungry and there’s zero doubt we’ll be able to find good tasty food at any hour. Especially thanks to the likes of SeriousEats.com and their Late Night guides.

Compare this with the utter lack of either obvious eating options or a guide to find them by here in Europe’s self-proclaimed capital.  Seems to us that someone’s going to have to sort London out with a proper review of after hours eating. Stay tuned.

It’s been a while since our last episode but Ricky Casanova has his phone back and he knows how to use it. For the letter ‘C’ we stopped by The Coach and Horses on Greek Street in Soho. Unfortunately our camera battery decided this was the day it was going to give us only three minutes of filming, which of course may not be a bad thing.

A special shoutout to TrashBlanc friend BeatmasterV who kindly agreed to partake in this episode’s crack in the jacks. Truly awful BV, thanks for nothing.

The more astute of you will notice we’ve ditched YouTube for the infinitely better blip.tv. We’ve also introduced a level of daylight and sobriety into proceedings. Not sure if they’re connected. We’ll let you know next time.

Next up, the Dolphin.

It’s not every day we feel like we’re breaking records here at TrashBlanc.com but surely there’s no more expensive hot dog in the world to be paid for than that at the Gourmet Hot Dog Company.

Is there a business school somewhere that teaches prospective MBAs that if they add the adjective “gourmet” to their food/eatery name they can also add 200% to the price? Becuase that’s the only thing myself and Beatmaster V felt we were paying a premium on Berwick Street in Soho.

The bun, nothing special. The meat (or in my case Italian mushroom), no better than Wicken Fen or other freezer cabinet fare. The condiments, as good as any US ballpark but no better. Save your money for for a batter sausage at some chipper, this is a record TrashBlanc.com will be playing only once.

Judging by the GHDC website, this is only the first branch in London’s next epicurean chain. Whether it has any legs will depend on whether they can do one of two things. Bring down the price or bring up the added value. And by that we mean give us more food. A foot of dog simply isn’t going to cut the mustard.

[video to follow]

Without trying to scare off our loyal readership, we’ve got some breaking economic news courtesy of Londonist. In what can only be descriped as a spit (pea) in the face of Middle East food fans, the price of falafel has sky-rocketed here in the UK’s capital.
Considering we’re slap bang in the middle of World Falafel Month, this is a tremendous blow.

Londonist cites world famous Falafel Hut in Shepherd’s Bush Market as a lead instigator in the latest round of London falafel hikes. Their eponymous menu items have gone up to £3. All we can do here at TrashBlanc.com is promise you we’ll send around some of our best investigators to look into the matter first hand. Stay tuned.

And so to Sicilia, right next door to Fresh and Wild on Brewer Street in Soho. The home of the great British wrap. Or so they’d have us believe. In fairness to Orbital lookalikes who run the banging show at Sicilia they don’t claim to specialize in chick pea. Generally, if it can be rolled into to piece of flat bread these guys will give it a go, but it’s only natural that falafel features in a big way.

This lunchtime I went with a Falafel Wrap. As well as the eponymous ingredient, this fella featured hummus, gherkin, tomato and somewhat outrageously, turnip. And it wasn’t bad. The wraps come toasted and consist of the best bread in London, but being a regular here I don’t think the men are putting their best 4/4 foot forward with the falafel. I’ll be back to my cranberry infused Fashion wrap next time I think.

It was with a heavy heart the AZBarLondon.com crew travelled up to the Boogaloo in Highgate on Friday night. But even Jezza would have to admit, the show must go on. And what a show. Instead of the usual banter about one of London’s finer drinking spots we’ve put together a little something especially for England’s favourite prankster.

RIP.

18 months ago had you asked us here at TrashBlanc.com about a month of falafel in London the answer would have started and ended with Gaby’s. The Charing Cross Road eatery offers the proverbial oasis of calm from the oil refinery like hell hole that is Leicester Square across the road. It also offers pretty good value sit down informal dining for this part of London. Gaby’s is always in the top cheap eats lists for central London.

And while all the above rings true, on Friday, when it really counted at the start of World Falafel Month, Gaby’s let us down. Just slightly. Maybe it was the uncomfortable dining amongst the pigeons of Trafalgar square, maybe it was what we think is an inferior brand of humous spread a little too thinkly over the falafels. Or maybe there’s just too many other falafel joints picking up their act and running a better show. Either way, we think Gaby’s may have lost it’s crown as London’s best. And to add salt to the middle eastern wound, they’ve just put their price up 20p to £3.50 for a falafel in pitta to go.

Gaby’s is still an essential stop on the London falafel trail, but if you’ve only got one lunch then maybe it’s not the first place to go. We’ll find out for sure over the next few weeks.

Here’s some video. We’ll have the full on TrashBlanc.com rundown a little bit later on.

And…

That’s right, we’re only hours away from World Falafel Month, and we here at TrashBlanc.com simply can’t wait. The European commissioner for chick pea cuisine, Hans van der Flaf has been in touch asking us if we’d consider doing something special to mark the occasion.

Well, he didn’t have to ask twice. After putting aside the notion of a cultural tie in with Liverpool 08, and not having the funds to get body armour for a trip to the Lebanon , we’ve decided to stay closer to home, we’re going to locate London’s finest Falafel.

So starting tomorrow, the wonderful Ricky Casanova and myself will be traveling the mean streets of mostly Soho, Hackney and Finsbury Park looking for the best round balls of goodness on offer. If you’ve got a Falafel problem, and no-one else can help, do drop us a line.

Despite the aforementioned Ricky Casanova’s chemistry hobby, we’re going to apply as little scientific merit to this study as possible. No, we’re going to trust the Inner Stat® on this one. And as luck would have it, we’ve got 29 days in this leap month to go out there and get the job done.

Stay tuned.

You could say we follow nothing through, but the point is we keep getting these more ridiculous notions. So, with 26 fortnights in the year, and 26 letters in the alphabet, and with an awful thirst on us at the start of the year, we’ve come up with AZBarLondon.com.

We want to make this one a little more inclusive than past projects though, so stick the RSS feed in your reader and we’ll let you know when we’re doing upcoming episodes. We’ve hit the A10 already so next up in the coming fortnight is B.

B ready.

The Serpentine are showing McCall and Tyndall’s “Argument” on Thursday 17th January. Any takers?

A screening of McCall and Andrew Tyndall’s feature-length film
Argument, followed by a presentation by artist Aurélien Froment, whose
work deals with archives and film as a metaphor. Argument is a dense
and provocative feature-length essay examining one issue of the New
York Times magazine to investigate the ideology of news, the language
of fashion and the construction of masculinity.

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Donovan Smoke and Ricky Casanova return to the keepingitfake fold for a special limited run treading the boards in London Town. However, these boards lead to only one destination: the local bartender.

Throughout the ‘08 Smoke and Casanova will be ticking off their very favourite letters and hopefully finding some new favourite bars and clubs from the veritable alphabet-soup of London drinking holes. There will be the strictest disipline adhered to as the fearless duo start with the a-list and end no-doubt with some hard earned zzz’s. So stay tuned for a bumpy ride.